Thursday, April 30, 2009
Its the weekend and outside of the inconsistent drooping when he cries, he seems to be his normal self. He's terrorizing his siblings and bringing the usual chaos to our home. My sister, a nurse notices and calls a Dr. friend of hers who says he thinks the drooping is caused from pressure from a cold also. Content for now with these two opinions we move on through the weekend planning to see our awesome pediatrician first thing Mon. morning.
Monday rolls along and we make our way to the peds. office. She checks everything out and says he has the worst ear infection she has ever seen. She confirms that the swelling and drooping is most certainly caused by the ear infection. So I feel relieved that the damage wasn't caused by the licking of the polaroid but horrible that my son has apparently been walking around for God knows how long with an ear infection. What kind of mother am I to not notice my son's pain? My pediatrician schedules an appointment with an Ear Nose and Throat specialist for the very same day. We leave one doctor to see another and the entire time I am beginning to feel really crappy about my mothering skills. I mean he's baby number 6, I should be a pro at it by now!
The ENT takes one look and says "This little guy is going in for surgery, today." He later explains that the pressure from the ear infection is paralyzing the facial muscles. Frantic on the inside, calm on the outside, I call everyone. There were schedules to be rearranged, I had children in school and 2 a friend's house. I would need all the help I could get b/c after missing so much I couldn't leave Drew's side.
Well, let's jump to the surgery....They prep Drew for surgery and tell us it would take all of 15 min., and he would be going home the following day. My husband, father, and I sit waiting in a serious by joking mood. The surgeon comes out almost 15 min. later with a very serious look on his face. I should have known then that look was not to say that all had gone well in the surgical room. He had come to explain that what he found was not an ear infection, but something called a cholesteatoma (say it with me cho-Less-t-a-toma). It was formed in the womb. Essentially, its a collection of skin cells growing in the wrong place that just continue to grow and grow and can destroy what it attaches itself to. Well Drew had this thing growing behind his ear drum for the past 2years! The Dr. instructs us to stay off of the internet googling it, he didn't want us getting nervous and scared but Drew would be in the hospital a couple of days and would require several surgeries to remove all of it, and we could expect some permanent hearing damage and possible permanent nerve damage. Not what I was prepared to hear at all! It was at this moment that as a family we took a moment to pray and seek God's mercy. Everything needed for Drew was out of our hands. I think as parents we all face a time where we realize that while we are the ones responsible for the care and love that our children need, there is so much more that we can't control.
Thankfully the next morning the same surgeon comes in and informs us that he feels Drew's case is beyond his expertise and refers us to a specialist in Chapel HIll. The surgeons there lovingly cared for Drew before and after his surgery. So far Drew has only had one surgery and is scheduled for his second one. Dr. Adunka and his team were able to successfully remove all of the cholesteatoma the first time, but unfortunately it had eroded all the ear bones in Drew's right ear and caused a small amount of damage to the ear drum. The second surgery this summer will be to check for new growths and reconstruct the ear bones. Since then Drew has regained function of those facial muscles. I have now found out that there are many out there who suffer with the same condition but few websites dedicated to informing folks about it. I am thankful that Drew was guided to the expert hands of Dr. Adunka and spared the irreversible damage that many suffer due to the lack of knowledge and information on this condition. Drew is a blessed child because so many require 3-5 surgeries, never fully regaining control of those muscles or their hearing. So.....this is our family's story on Drew's cholesteatoma journey.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tyler (son - 13) N'yasha (daughter - 9), Leah (daughter - 5), Isaac (son -4), Sarah (daughter -2), Drew (son -2), Mama (30-ish), Daddy (older than Mama 30-ish), Papa (50-ish)
And so the conversation goes.....
Sarah: "Who's older Tyler or N'yasha?
Ike the all knowing older brother replies "Tyler, he is our biggest older brother"....... (and no he doesn't have any other older brothers)
Sarah: "Who is older N'yasha or Ike?"
Ike: always having all the answers "N'yasha is biggest than me"
Sarah: "Who is older Mommy or Tyler?'
Ike: once again he's right "Mommy, she can tell Tyler what to do."
Sarah: "Who is older Daddy or Papa?"
Ike: "Daddy, cause Papa is alot of fun and he's got big trucks"
Sarah: "Yeah and Papa has a treasure box on his truck" (she is actually referring to a rusted, rigged up craftsman toolbox that is older than I am. My father doesn't go anywhere without it on the back of his truck, but Sarah is convinced its a treasure box.)
Sarah: "Who is older Daddy or God?"
Ike: "Daddy, cause daddy was born before God"
Drew, the one who does less talking and more hitting adds, "Yep, daddy is older than God"
You would have thought that Drew had the final word. After he confirmed that daddy is indeed older than God, Sarah sits back in her car seat, content with his answer and moves on to another subject.
I am always amazed what comes from the minds and through the mouth of the non-schoolers.......I wonder if my husband will be just as amazed
Monday, April 27, 2009
"Didn't I ask you to........?"
"Why are you looking at me like that? I know you hear me, b/c there is nothing wrong with your hearing."
"and you are still sitting there, uh, NO! I want it done now!"
If this one way conversation is familiar to you, CONGRATULATIONS! You have a stubborn, confused, wanna do their own thing teenager in your house! What happened to that cute, sweet, precious, little boy I brought home a few months ago, ok, well maybe it was more like 13 years ago, but it seems like last week. He used to listen to everything I said and he thought his mommy was the best thing since sliced bread. Now, all of a sudden I have this human walking around who has his own agenda and thinks that I don't have the sense of a slug! What is it about teenage-ism that brings about brain block, hearing loss, the inability to follow directions, and the ability to take your parents from 1 to 10 in a matter of moments? Is there help for the parent of a teen? Is there somewhere I can send him to be re-programmed? For some reason I was under the impression that teen-tude didn't start until somewhere around 16-18yrs, but here I am with a full-fledged 13 year old TEENAGER! After this weekend of dealing with his teen-deafness, teen brain block, teen frustration b/c he can't do whatever he wants whenever he wants completely ignoring how his wants affect the other 5 children and mainly the 2 adults in the house (us parents!), I just want to say a few words that I thought I would NEVER say,
Mom, I am sooooo sorry, but rest assured I am getting it all back. You were so right about it all!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Meanwhile, back in the Fifties . . .
An excerpt from Good Housekeeping Monthly 13 May 1955
"The good wife's guide
· Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
· Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
· Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
· Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
· Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
· Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
· Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
· Be happy to see him.
· Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
· Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
· Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
· Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
· Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
· Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
· Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
· Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
· Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
· A good wife always knows her place."
On a recent visit to my Dr. I saw this posted in the bathroom. My initial reaction to this was "You have got to be kidding!" Throughout the visit I continued to think about this excerpt. For days now I have still been thinking about it. While most of us would agree that some of the things mentioned are just CRAZY (If my husband begins to have alot of outside entertainment without prior notice we are going to have some problems!) but some of the other things aren't so crazy. So why have we as wives and mothers gotten away from being the keepers of our homes and the ones who create an atmosphere of love and peace in our homes? I understand that times are different because alot of us work outside the home just as much if not more than some of our spouses and some of us are doing this mothering thing alone, but does that negate our responsibility as mothers to teach our children, love and respect our husbands, and take care of our homes? I have been a stay at home mom for a little over a year now and I know if someone had said any of this to me before then I would have completely ignored them. I am actually still adjusting to my position as Wife and Mother. At first I felt like I was contributing less to the family because I was no longer going out to work and bringing in a paycheck. I felt that this somehow took away any control or devalued my opinion on issues of the home. I was afraid that I was going to become a silent robot in my home that no one inside or outside of the home would respect. Once I began to settle into my new position I found quite the opposite was true. My husband is in love with idea of me being available to take care of home issues, my children seem to be in love with me, probably because we spend more time together. That feeling of stress that I used to get everyday when I got home from work trying to make sure homework was done, food was prepared, kids were bathed, and clothes were washed is gone. Well I wasn't really getting those things done, we spent more time in fast food restaurants, the laundry pile was big enough to stink up the house, and the vacuum only ran on Sat. I am a calmer, more relaxed wife and mother (most days anyway, I can still flip the script when provoked). I am able to do most of the things I always wanted to do as a wife and mother. Now in no way am I suggesting that wives should be kept quiet in the house, not allowed to work, secluded from society, but I am saying for this family, The Artises, my place as Wife and Mother is what works for us. I want to know what you think. Where is your place in your familyMoms, what have we lost or do you think we haven't lost anything at all? What are your thoughts, whether you think I am completely crazy or this whole thing has got you thinking another way, I want to know. What will the next generation of mothers be like, will kitchens and laundry rooms become a thing of the past?
Saturday, April 18, 2009
are to keep our hands, feet, markers, and
occasions one of my 2 year olds has decided
that the wall was the best place to display
their creativity. As my non-schoolers were
assisting with the cleaning they found a
mountain load of markers and crayons in a
box downstairs, and the creative juices began
to flow! My 4 year old happily explained that
his 2 year old brother had given them "cool"
tatoos. I took one look and realized his brother
had surely given them both temporary tatoos
with a permanent marker....The artist
(Drew Drew) explained to me that the
tatoos (lines) on their arms are their names
and the tatoo on the little guys chest is a dog,
while he had proudly given his older brother a
picture of a GIRL on his chest! Well what could
I really say, I said don't write on the walls and
furniture, I guess I had left the option of drawing
on each other wide open!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Get Your Body Magic Now!
I am Mommy of Many. First of all I love God and I am thankful to him for his awesome saving grace. I am a full-time mom of six mostly amazing babies, ages 3, 3, 5, 6, 10, and 14 (yes, I know 10 and 14 are a stretch at being babies but they will always be mommy's babies) and wife to 1 mostly awesome hubby and best friend, age somewhere in the mid 30's. There are so many hats and titles that I find myself wearing from day to day that range from entrepreneur to cook, but those that rank at the top include wife, mommy, and writer, soon to be published author. I am so blessed to have found the world of blogs because writing is "my thing." I would much rather communicate with people on paper, well I guess, now a days writing is done on computer, but you know what I mean.
On a more serious note, I am a successful business owner and dictator or my own schedule, outside of the kid's practices and games, hubby's work schedule, and Dr./Dentist/Teacher Conf. Appts. It is my desire to connect with other stay-at- home and work from home moms. I love the age of social networking that we have entered because it allows us the opportunity to connect and share with other people all over the world from the comforts of our home. As a matter of fact I'm typing this in a fluffy pink robe and fuzzy, toed, socks. The thought that this will be read by individuals half way across the world in a matter of moments is nothing short of amazing.
I've been twittling around this blogging thing for a little less than a year. I kinda got started blogging just to be doing something and before I knew it, I had been bitten by the Blog Bug. I am now "all in." I usually blog about any and every thing that comes to mind. Sometimes my blogs are well thought and read well and other times you will find random ramblings of my over-exhausted brain. Whatever the writings of the day, I love doing this! So welcome! Feel free to look around and of course I would love to know what you think! So don't be shy LEAVE ME A COMMENT!!