Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Sacrifice or Selfishness?

Okay Blog family, I need some advice from you. A dear friend of mine asked me at what point does a mother put her careers goals and desires on hold for your children?
Background info: The friend is a single mother of two children ages 8 and 6. She does receive financial support from the father but could still use additional financial resources. She was offered a great opportunity with a part-time job, that will really help develop her career. The problem is this part-time job will interfere with her son's football schedule. Her son has not started the football season yet but he is really hoping that he can play in this particular league. She does have a great support system of family and friends that help with the children, but none of them are able to commit to getting him to the many practices and games, and the father lives in a different city. She is really torn about what to do. Is she being selfish by taking the job and not allowing him to play in the league? Mothers naturally give and sacrifice but at what point should a mother say, its time for the family to make a few sacrifices for me? Should she accept the part-time job and explain to her son that he will not be able to play in that league this year? Or should she turn down the part-time job and allow her son to play in the league?

What do you think?


  1. I am not a mother so I can only imagine how hard it most be to make such a decision. I would say however that you must look past the right now to make a decision like that. Is the job that she wants to take going to benefit the whole family? You have to make the decision that will benefit the whole families future. Yes the son make want to play but by mommy taking the job will it change the quality of their life? I don't know that is just my thoughts but here again I do not have any children.

  2. This is a toughie! I honestly dont know how to answer this one. Part of me says she has to make the decision that will benefit the family as a whole, but of course part of me says let the boy do something that he is looking forward to do!

  3. This is so difficult! Honestly as cliche as it might be I think only she knows what would work best for her family. If she thinks there might not be another opportunity like this which will really benefit their future I would say to really think hard before turning it down. But if she can manage for now its also important to be there for her son. Oh gosh! Sorry I'm really no help :-/

  4. That's so so hard. Financially the money coming in will be such a help for them and I think since the children are older, she would need to sit down and explain to her son the pros and cons of both and also see if there is any way she can get some family or a close friend help take him to the practices

    P.S. I'm stopping over from SITS. Come bunny hop over to http://energizerbunnysmommyreports.blogspot.com/ and enter 2 great giveaways (win a great Dr Hippo book for your little one and a great sleeve for your laptop!)

  5. Yikes, thats a toughie. I was a single mom and it's tough to juggle being the provider and the nurturer. At the end of the day I would do what's best for my family in the long run, which for her may be to further her career. However, I would try my hardest to find a way to keep him in the league. Good for her for being such a fabulous mother!!

  6. I don't think there's a short & quick answer :)

    Each situation is prob different.

    Some mums would go back to work and others would stay at home.

    Me? Im a full time stay at home mum and I love it. But I only ever worked part time/casual anyway - my gorgeous hubby has always been the main breadwinner.


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