Thursday, June 4, 2009

Thoughtful Thursday: Thoughtful Nuggets

Being a mother can be challenging. Over the years I have discovered that I must be someone different for my sons than I am for my daughters. To my daughters I strive to be an example of who they someday will become. I strive to teach them the fundamentals of being a wife and mother, showing them the struggles while emphasizing its importance and rewards. I want them to know that it takes time, skill, and prayer to manage a family, build a career, and take care of a husband. I find myself telling my daughters that if a family were a band, the mother/wife would be the drummer. She is the one that determines the rhythm and environment for the family. Her role is so very important. She can build up a person in the family or tear them down with a few simple words. While she is not the leader of the band, the band could surely fill empty and dull without her constant taps of encouragement, or loud thunderous beats of praise, or her crashing sounds of discipline when necessary. Going against what is normally seen on television, I teach my daughters that it is not necessary to fuss, cuss, and manipulate to get your point across, and understand that you won't have your way in every situation. Be open to other perspectives.
For my sons I strive to be an example of the characteristics they will someday look for in a wife. I want them to see a strong woman who is a help-meet to her husband, able to hold down things when necessary, but also the only soft, tender place that a man has to turn to when facing the harsh reality of this world. It is my desire that they someday look for a woman who possesses Godly characteristics and a passion for loving them. I make attempts to show them how a wife is able to lovingly respect and submit to her husband without being controlled. I want them to know that being the head does not mean they are to dictate the actions of the family. It means when it is all said and done they are the responsible party for each member of that family. They see me honoring my husband and commitments to my family. I want them to know that a wife is the someone who should always have their back, ready at all times to jump in when needed. I often find myself jotting down what I call little nuggets of wisdom, that I someday plan to give to them.

Task I have yet to master: keeping a spotless house, putting away clean clothing, and ironing

15 comments:

  1. THIS IS AWESOME! Going against the world's veiw of marriage is nothing but Christ. This is Kim B. I can only sign in as anonymous for some reason.

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  2. Hi stopping by from SITS...I love what you wrote and that is exactly what I want to show my daughters, I currently only have girls! I have to say it can be hard in this world but it is worth it and I enjoy what I do for my girls! Thanks for sharing this!

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  3. wow..this post took my breath away. You nailed Mommy. And you are spot-on with the drummer analogy. YES! And you're right. We present ourselves differently to our sons and daughters. This is the most profound, well written post I've read in months. I may print it off and frame it! Good job Mommy.

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  4. Thanks for entering my give-a-way. It's going to be fun!

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  5. Hey girl, beautifully written! I'm stopping by from SITS as well! I bet you are a wonderful mommy, that's what's important, not the ironing and all that other crap, haha!

    Beautiful post!

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  6. My Fiance and I recently had conversations about how we wanted to raise our future children, I'm going to have him read this...you put my thoughts into words. Thanks for this post, it reaffirms my belief in what I want for my kids someday.

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  7. I like your analogy to a drummer--so true! This is a great description of a good wife and mother! I say get your children to help with the cleaning and laundry but it seems your focus is on what is truly most important: raising your kids well!

    Congrats on your SITS day! I'm adding you to my blogroll too.

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  8. I have a 15yr old daughter and two future step daughters ages 3 and 5. I really like what you said about teaching them not to fuss,cuss, or manipulate to get their way. And to be open to a way different than theirs.
    SO TRUE! I hope we can teach our daughters this! Great wisdom!

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  9. Yep, it is an amazing responsibility we have helping to mold their little hearts and characters into the adults they will someday become...

    Cheers to your intentional parenting, girl!

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  10. I love, love, LOVE your analogy of the drummer. I love the values you are trying to model and instill. Your family is lucky to have you!

    As for the other tasks? The lack of ironing and a spotless house is just PROOF that you are doing such a great job in all the other areas. (and the kids are old enough to put away their own clean clothes!)

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  11. Fun story about the drummer. I don't know how you do it.

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  12. what an awesome post, I love that you are modeling for your children and teaching them how to be wonderful adults and how to give and get respect. This is what I want to do for my son. I am so following your blog.

    Don't worry about the cleaning and clothes, they are not the important lessons in life!

    Karen

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  13. I really love the way you compare the wife/mother to the drummer in a band. I'm a musician, so that totally touched home for me.

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  14. This was truly beautiful. I have both- a boy and girl and I see the difference. I found the strength to leave a really bad marriage because I realized I could not be a role model for either of my children by being controlled, direspected and verbally abused in front of my children.

    Sometimes I feel weak. This is a short and sweet reminder of the reasons and the whys, and the how it should be. Thank you.

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